Ar'nie Krogh is a Love Coach, Relationship Architect, Positive Communicator & Author. She has been transforming the lives of people for the past 20 years. Ar'nie is fast becoming known for her combined ‘mind’ and ‘body’ techniques.
Here she exclusively shares with Female First the top 10 signs to look out for when your partner is cheating….
TOP TEN SIGNS WHEN PEOPLE ARE CHEATING
Extra Business trip- I put this first as this was how I learnt that my ex fiancé was cheating on me. He started going for longer and longer business trips and it even extended to the weekend. It used to be for only a few days each time.
Spending more time at work then having drinks with said colleagues- If he/she is not going away for business trips, then it could be that they are suddenly spending more time at work. Even when work is done, they are suddenly more keen to have drinks with those colleagues and coming back later than normal.
Making extra effort on dressing up or putting on make-up/cologne: When someone is cheating, they tend to be more conscious of their appearance. They want to appear more appealing to their fling. They start wearing different styles of clothes or even changing styles completely. They might be using a perfume that you don’t remember buying?
Extra effort at the gym or sports- Just as the above, this goes back to a renewed interest in themselves and their physical state. They suddenly are more keen to lose weight or be more active in sports when you couldn’t encourage them before.
Being more secretive on the phone- They might be holding on tighter to their mobile phone or sleeping with it under their pillow or even changing their password and not telling you when you used to know. Is it because they have been exchanging spicy messages with a stranger? Or have they gotten an app that maybe is more appropriate for a singleton?
Getting more defensive- Are they suddenly snappier when you think you are asking an innocent question? Are they a little moody with you when you ask too many questions about their work or other situations?
Losing interest in sex or intimate connection- Many a time, when a partner is sleeping with someone else, the guilt does rise. It is manifested in them staying away from intimate relationships with their own partner. This was my said ex-fiancé. We stopped having the regular sexual connection soon after his affair.
Strange bills or receipts from hotels/bars/location you don’t recognise and where they might not normally go to- These days most cheats are getting smarter though many still forgot that bills like credit cards might inadvertently be opened by a spouse if they are having a joint account. I understand too that these days, cheats might use gift cards to hide their ‘illegal’ purchases. You might not be able to see that billing from the likes of Ann Summers if this was the case.
Using children to always ‘run errands’- You might think that your partner is being extra responsible by taking extra time with your child(ren) but in the case of ‘mutual parents affair’ the children are just an excuse for these cheats to meet up without the social guilt as they will be seen like 2 normal parents having playdates with their children in tow.
Being extra nice to their partner- Have your partner suddenly become extra nice and sweet to you? Is he/she so keen to send you away for an extended boys/girls vacation? Send you away for a lone relaxing spa weekend? This could be just reverse psychology to loosen you up. They then don’t have to deal with the guilt of having their own ‘sweet moments’ when you are out of sight.
In any case, listen to your gut instincts. Be aware of how your mutual friends are behaving around you. They will inevitably know of your partner’s affair before you do. Don’t be afraid to ask your friends for what they might know and don’t be afraid to hear things that might hurt you. Knowledge is power. Don’t give that away.