DD asks :
Hi Lucy,
My wife runs a hairdressers, and lately on Sunday mornings she says she goes to the gym, but I found her sneaking the keys of the salon out with her. She hid them in a pair of gloves on the back seat of the car. She then came home and quickly put them back in their place. I said nothing but she told me about her morning and never mentioned the salon visit. She has been doing this for a few months. I talk about honesty in our marriage and she agrees with me, but I can’t understand the not saying anything about the salon visits. We have been married 21 years. My wife is 45 and lately lost a lot of weight and is showing me a lot of attention, in the bedroom, and being very loving, also using different bedroom talk.
Hi DD,
Agony Aunts on Female First
If you offer her nothing but honesty in your relationship then you should expect the same in return.
If you are suspicious about her behaviour then it may be worth telling her what you've noticed. There may be a rational explanation for it which would put your mind at ease. Could she be getting a treatment done at the salon that's over the course of a few months? She may not want to tell you about it now until its complete and she can give you the big reveal?
If the shoe were on the other foot would she ask you about what she knows? If she is a naturally inquisitive person then she may understand your need to know what's going on.
It doesn't sound like you have broken her trust by snooping- just that you have noticed unusual behaviour.
It sounds like your relationship has benefitted from her weight loss because of the impact it's had on her confidence in the bedroom so it seems that she may be happier than ever with you and your physical life.
If you have been married for this long and you pride yourself on honesty then it may be easier to come clean. When assumptions are made and suspicions arise in a relationship- it can sometimes drive couples apart if the wrong conclusion has been made.
tagged in wife
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