Cookie asks :

Hi Lucy,

 

My boyfriend plays me about at times like answering then not answering his phone. I feel like he’s playing a game with me, for going out for over a year now we shouldn't be having these 'games'! But when he does answer his phone he instantly goes to bed it’s not all the time he does this it’s usually when I've been waiting around for ages to talk to him... what can I do to resolve this? (May I add he’s in the Army)

Hi Cookie,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If the times you are calling are not suitable then perhaps suggest that he calls you so he is not just about to go to bed- you may be catching him at the wrong time. Presumably he has a different schedule to you so it may be more productive to leave the ball in his court.

What do you talk about when you call? If you open with suspected 'game playing' then he may not want to use the precious time he has to argue or defend himself. He may just want to talk to you about other things.

If you feel there is something more to this then it might be better to talk about it when he is home next. It is difficult to talk about problems in you relationship when you are on the phone. You can't gauge each other's facial expressions or body language, which all help in identifying someone's sincerity towards the issue.


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