Josie asks :

Hi Lucy,

My husband has been sexting. This woman is in a loveless marriage and had been seeking support from my husband. I did know that she sometimes spoke to him and she has been a family friend for a long time, but I didn't realise they had started sexting. My husband says he’s been a fool and he’s really sorry. He loves me and him wishes he hadn’t done it and is devastated he has hurt me. But I can't get my head round why they were sexting? He must fancy her or is it just a dirty text that he got turned on by and was flattered by?

Hi Josie,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Perhaps he was flattered by her interest in him and that fact that she chose him over anyone else to seek support from. Perhaps it started off innocently and they took it too far. If she is in a loveless marriage then it is understandable that she might be looking for some attention from another man to fill that void, maybe her need for this exceeded her consideration for anyone else's situation.

Perhaps him sexting her back was a sign that he is missing something in your relationship. Perhaps this is something he wants to try with you.

It can give people an ego boost when someone else shows them some attention if they are not feeling entirely fulfilled at home.

It doesn't sound like he acted on it, however it was suggestive, which could be why you are questioning his intentions.

If he has apologised seems devastated at the thought of hurting you, then perhaps he is truly remorseful. It seems that he might regret his actions so perhaps this happening could encourage you both focus on your relationship more and try to put this behind you.


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
find me on and follow me on


tagged in

Need Help?

If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.