LeeZa asks :
Hi Lucy,
My boyfriend only wants sex with me occasionally and doesn't initiate it. Is there something wrong with me that I feel desire for him whenever we're naked together? He doesn't seem to and that upsets me. Why doesn't he desire me when he wants to keep seeing me?
Hi Leeza,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It may just be that you have mismatched sex drives. He may have a naturally low libido and you a high one. It doesn't necessarily mean that his desire for you is any less- it could just mean that he is satisfied with less sex. If he has stayed with you then he may still be in love with you- but he prioritises other things in your relationship over sex.
There is nothing wrong with feeling turned on when you are both naked. Skin on skin contact is something we associate with sex, so it's natural and normal that you would react that way.
You haven't mentioned talking to him about this. Perhaps if you haven't broached the subject before, it would help you to.
There are many reasons for a sudden lack in libido; from a bad diet, a lack of exercise, certain medications, stress at work or home, low self-esteem or even depression. If any of these sound familiar, then they could explain why his interest in sex has waned.
If you talk to him and find out what he thinks- together you might be able to pinpoint what it is and come up with some solutions or at least some ideas to try.
If he has always been this way and it's proving to be a problem, perhaps you could go and see a sex counsellor to talk through your concerns with someone who specialises in this field.
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