Andrew asks :
Hi Lucy,
I've been with my girlfriend now for almost fifteen years, everything has been going fantastic and I love her, but recently I met another girl and I've found myself falling for her. I think about her all the time and when we meet up I just sit and think about how much I want to kiss her. Is it possible to be in love with more than one person? I feel like I’m cheating on my girlfriend even though I've never done anything with this other girl. I just can't get her out of my head.
Hi Andrew,
Agony Aunts on Female First
You have been with your partner for almost fifteen years. That's a long time to keep things fresh. Perhaps things have got stagnant with your partner and that is why you have gravitated towards this other woman.
The excitement of kissing someone new and thinking about someone all the time is reminiscent of the honeymoon phase of any relationship and perhaps you just miss that with your girlfriend and have tried to capture that feeling again?
It is easy to believe that the grass is greener with another partner if things have become repetitive and unsurprising with your partner, however it's what you do about it that counts.
If you think your relationship needs work then perhaps after so long you feel you owe it you and your partner to elicit some help. A relationship counsellor perhaps? Just to explore if this is a symptom of monotony or if you really want to leave each other.
I can't answer your question of whether being in love with two people at once is possible, however what I will say is that love is deeper than being attracted to someone and being able to talk to them with ease. It's about history and putting in the time, really knowing someone through good and bad. Perhaps your time with this new woman has been all good and it's a breath of rest air in your life if you have become bored or impatient with the way things have been with your partner.
It might be love; an emotional love, rather than a physical one, or an emotional affair. It is unsure right now if you would be able to extend it beyond what you currently have for it may just be lust you are feeling. Try to keep in mind that this could just be an infatuation too. Try to consider all angles before moving forward so you aren't swept up by the perception of perfection if you leave your current relationship.
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