anonymous asks :

i have been very happily married for 10 years and we have a great sex life but recently i have been increasingly wanted to be spanked. not even in a sexual sense. i would love for him to take control of the relationship and for me to become submissive to him.i don't know what i should do as i just spend most of time searching for spanking sites and they don't provide me with what i am looking for. I did write a scenario for him thinking it might trigger something but he just laughed and thought it was funny. please help thank you

Yin replies

Being spanked and being the submissive are two very different things, so it makes sense that you would not get the gratification you are seeking from the websites you are visiting. Why is that you want to be submissive after years of not? Could it be that you want him to take charge more rather than being a true submissive? Presumably you have looked on websites that offer information about being submissive? Submissives can be subjected to acts such as flogging, servitude, humiliations and be restrained by bondage, all of which can cause psychological and physical pain. Your partner would have to come up with a set of rules that you would have to abide by also. Both the roles of the submissive and the dominant remain strict and require dedication; do you think this is something that your partner could commit to given time?

Yang replies

Perhaps it would be wise to encourage sexual play that borders in this type of behaviour and then once he is more exposed to it he may become open to a regimented sex life? If you have not discussed this before it would have come as shock to him which is likely why he laughed. Once he knows you are seriously considering it he might take you up on the offer.

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