Star asks :

Hi Lucy,

I need help. I can't seem to get over my ex boyfriend, we are still in contact. I have recently started a course of anti-depressants. Why cant I get over him? Is it because we are still in contact? Thank you

Hi Star, 

The quick answer is probably, yes. If you stay in contact with your ex as friends, it's a really honourable thing to try and achieve, but after a break up, it rarely works. It often hurts too much to see them move on with someone else, when they do move on. It can hurt if they pay us less attention than they used to. It acts as a constant reminder of what we have lost.

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you are already on anti-depressants, why not apply for some counselling too? Visit your GP and arrange to be referred to a counsellor to talk about your feelings. Anti-depressants can be a great help but you also need to talk about things too.

Try and distract yourself with other things, this will not only help your depression but also to realise that you can still have a fulfilled life without you ex. Go out with your friends, try a new hobby, make sure your mind is active as much as possible. Try not to let yourself miss the things you did as a couple and embrace the things you can do by yourself. This should help you to live a satisfied single life and feel more like yourself again.

Break ups are about learning to be self-sufficient when it comes to your emotions. You have to self soothe and assure yourself that the decision you made was the right one. Make a list of things that you enjoy about being single, it may be small at first, but after a while you will should that you are doing things that you never could while you were a couple. Once you have properly healed- you might be ready to look for someone else.


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