Queenie asks :
Hi Lucy,
I've been living in another part of the country away from my family for 20 years and I'm seriously thinking of coming home to live and work. But fear has held me back all my life and I don't trust my instincts anymore as I have continually made the wrong decisions in life. I've felt very lost for the last 7 years and last year was lonely and depressing for me. I know I would be financially better off at home plus I love my family very much. I am scared of change and things not working out. Should I move home and see what happens? Thanks, Q
Hi Queenie,
Agony Aunts on Female First
I would suggest making a list of the pros and cons of moving back home. Be really honest with yourself in your choices and you might find there are more benefits to one over the other.
You talk of being lonely and depressed, however being surrounded by family might help you to feel less lonely and have a support system around you to talk to and be in the company of if you are feeling low. You may be able to contact your family in different ways right now- however having them physically present might be what you need. Maybe you miss being able to spend time in their company and their embrace when you're sad?
Change is a very difficult thing to contemplate and to put into action, however if it's for the greater good then perhaps it will all be worth it in the end. Change is a lot about leaving old habits behind and creating new ones, so if you make sure your new habits are positive it should help with the transition.
If you have felt very lost for a few years now then perhaps it's because you need you family around you.
If last year was particularly hard then perhaps that is a sign that change might be good for you.
If you stay put, then maybe you could see a counsellor and explore why you feel this way and the reasons for staying and leaving so you have talked through every scenario.
Everyone makes a wrong decision or two in their life- it's what you learn from them and how you coped when you realised that the choice you made wasn't the right one for you. Try not to focus on the stuff that didn't go your way in the past and focus on the positive things you can do in the future to move towards a happier and supported self.
tagged in Family
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.