Rich asks :

Hi Rich,

My girlfriend broke up with me, I know why. I had been so busy lately and wrapped up in my own life but with every spare minute I was thinking about proposing (3 years together). I know at times in our relationship we were both busy, and a couple of months ago we were having problems but things were getting better. She told me she was to hurt and wanted to end it. We cried together I told her that it would get better but she said it was too late. I'm going to give her a couple of weeks, so far I’ve been in agony but I know she needs space. I need advice on what to do when I approach again? The stupid thing is; we are so great together, and I know she can make me happy for as long as I live and I can only hope she lets me do the same for her.

 

Hi Rich,

 We have been together for 3 years

We have been together for 3 years

Perhaps once you decide to meet up with her you could explain why you have been so preoccupied. Perhaps she thought that this is what it would be like in future- you ‘wrapped up in your own life’, but not on hers, hence her departure. It might ruin the surprise of a proposal; however it could put things into perspective a bit more.

If she needs space then waiting a little while before your approach is probably a good thing. It might give her time to think about things more clearly now the dust has settled.

Perhaps ask her to meet you somewhere neutral- like a coffee shop for a chat- if you go somewhere that holds a lot of memories this could make you or her more emotional and cloud your judgement. Could you suggest that she gives you another chance? If she didn’t warn you that a break up might be imminent because of your behaviour then maybe another chance is what you need to prove your commitment to her.

If you want to show her that you are willing to change then perhaps put the ball in her court and ask her when the best time for her to talk is and start off on the right foot. 


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