Julie asks :
Hi Lucy,
My partner has moved a female flatmate into his house after I told him I wasn't comfortable with it about a month ago. He told me he wouldn't do it. I only found out the day she moved in. What do I do now?
Hi Julie,
Agony Aunts on Female First
If you trust him then him having a female roommate should not be an issue, so is it possible that you don't trust him as much as you thought you did?
It sounds like part of the problem here is that he's broken his word.
I would suggest asking him why he went against what he promised and how it makes you feel. How would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot?
Could it be that him having a roommate means it's delaying the two of you living together? Perhaps this move has given you mixed messages about how ready he is to live with you?
It could be that the move was out of necessity rather than as a means of going behind your back. If he is struggling with rent then maybe he felt he had no choice and had to come to this arrangement last minute.
Having a female roommate doesn't necessarily mean that anything will happen, however it's understandable that you will feel uncomfortable with it. Having another woman in such close proximity is not ideal. Has she got a partner? If so then this might help put your mind at ease about her being there.
tagged in Partner
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