Hannah asks :

Hi Lucy, 

My parents are having marital problems and my mother thinks that my father is having an affair. What should I do? I really need some tips.

 

Hi Hannah,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Although you are a family unit, it sounds like this problem is between them if its marriage related as opposed to family related.

Rather than getting involved or taking sides, all I would suggest you do is be a sounding board for both of your parents. If they are having problems they likely need to talk to someone other than each other to vent.

It can be hard to hear your parents badmouthing each other however it might make them feel better to know that you understand where they are coming from. It is likely that you are aware of the faults that your parents see in each other. You might have an appreciation of what they do to upset one another and similarly their tactics for reconciliation after arguments. Be prepared for some negativity from both about each other.

If you feel that you are not the right person to listen to them or don't want to hear them speak badly of one another, then perhaps suggest some relationship counselling. Let them decide if its right for them. All you can do is listen and make suggestions- it's up to them how they proceed with addressing the problems in their marriage.

From their point of view, they need to know that you will be there for them if they stay together or decide to part. You can do this by being there when they need to offload their feelings and reassuring them that you love them.


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