Quelli asks :
Hi Lucy,
When my partner is spooning me he can enter me anally and it’s not painful, but when I’m under him it is extremely painful is there a way for me to make it less painful?
Hi Quelli,
How can I make it less painful?
As with anal sex in any position, a lot of lube is a good idea. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own natural lubricant when its being entered so can make sex more painful. So perhaps try to use more when your partner enters you this way.
With vaginal sex; the vagina takes over from the lube you use initially, so you don’t have to keep reapplying. With anal sex this is different- you need to keep applying lube because it gets absorbed into the body faster.
As with every couple, certain positions are more comfortable than others and with anal sex this is no different. Is your partner communicating with you enough when you have anal sex? There is greater risk of damage to the colon through anal sex, so it’s important that he checks to see how you are feeling and takes it slower if that is what you need.
With the missionary position, or him on top, it helps to have the legs apart, raised and bent. Or raise them above your partner’s shoulders, around his waist or bent and resting on his shoulders. It could be that you are holding your legs too close together causing extra friction that you don’t need.
tagged in Partner yin and yang agony aunt
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