Gabby asks :

Hi Lucy, 

When I was 18, I kissed my friend's boyfriend on a night out when I was single. We decided not to tell anyone because it was a mistake. 

Two years on, I'm still friends with my friend and her boyfriend and I have been with my boyfriend for over a year but still no one knows. Should I tell my boyfriend in case it comes out?

 

Hi Gabby,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It sounds like it hasn't affected your friend's relationship, so we could assume that he hasn't told her. It doesn't seem to have affected your prospects of finding someone else either. If you are both happy couples, it may not be worth rocking the boat by bringing this up again, given that it is so long ago.

With that said, if you trust your boyfriend for it not to go any further, then you could tell him if it makes you feel better to have no secrets from him.

If you were single- then it wasn't a betrayal against him- however, he may feel awkward about the two of you still being friends and seeing each other. You may run the risk of him reacting to this and it coming out in the open. However, if your relationship is strong and trusting, then he may not be worried about this piece of information.

If something was going to come of the kiss, chances are it would have by now, but it hasn't, so it sounds like you both regretted it and it meant nothing. If it was what you say- a drunken act and didn't mean anything to either of you- then it may be worth leaving it in the past. If you do decide to tell your boyfriend, it might help him if you stress that you are only telling him so it comes from you rather than someone else.


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