Kathy asks :

Hello Lucy,

I stayed over my son and daughter in law’s a few weeks ago to baby sit. They got home about 2am. They probably thought I was asleep but I heard the door. As I started to doze off I’m sure I heard them having sex. It surprised me a bit as they rarely show affection or kiss in front of the family. It seems they are closer than I thought so I’m pleased. I've rarely heard them say ‘I love u’ but she kept saying ‘I love you baby’. The thing is- should I tell them I heard? Their son might hear them and I know they would not want that. I don't want to embarrass them. What do you think? Thanks.

 

Hi Kathy,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Although it might have been awkward to hear your son and daughter in law having sex- it sounds like it's been a comfort to you to find out that their relationship may be stronger than you originally thought.

Perhaps if they assumed everyone was asleep, they were louder than normal. Ordinarily, they may not have sex or keep it down if they think that their son might hear.

As you might appreciate, sex doesn't stop once you have children, so parents have to make time for each other as and when they can. If they were out late, then perhaps they thought it was the perfect opportunity to share some intimate time together. If this was the case, then perhaps try to put it to the back of your mind and rest in the knowledge that you don't have to worry about their relationship anymore.  

Chances are they will be embarrassed if you do bring it up as it's not something that's widely discussed with parents. If it made you feel uncomfortable then perhaps you could ask them not to have sex when you stay over. It might help to talk to your son on his own and leave it up to him to relay the message to his partner as this may save blushes. If you feel ok with talking to your son, then that could be the opportunity to tell them that their walls are not as thick as they thought they were and that their son might start asking questions.


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