Sophie asks :
Hi Lucy,
My boyfriend is going travelling for six months. I always knew this was what he wanted to do even before we were together. I really don't know how I'm going to cope.
Hi Sophie,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Long distance relationships are hard- there is no doubt about that but couples who have had to go through a time of being physically absent from one another often have a stronger bond once they return.
There are ways to make this situation a little easier on you both while your partner is away.
Firstly I would suggest that you maintain regular contact throughout this travels. If he is going to be in an area with bad reception, then ask him to warn you of this so you don't worry and know that he is not avoiding you. No contact will only breed jealousy and resentment and cause your imagination tow work overtime. If you agree a time and place, then you should both be able to stick to regular contact.
I would also urge you to mix this up- be it a text, phone call, skype or letter- like relationships that are physically close- you need to mix things up to keep it fresh.
Secondly, remember that you are letting him be him. It is important in every relationship to be ok with your partner going off and doing their own thing sometimes. All couples need time together and apart.
This may be taking it to the extreme, but he will appreciate your relationship more if he has the flexibility to pursue his dreams. However, he needs to be as understanding with yours as you will be with his if you decide to do something in future that's just for you.
Thirdly, use the time to nurture yourself. You may not have so much time on your hands again to have such freedom. If there is a hobby that you have been keen to start, or a group you want to join or an activity you have been craving then now might be your time to get on with one or a few of them. It will give you a focus and stop you from thinking about your partner 24/7. Don't forget you are still your own person and your role is not start living once he gets back- you need to enjoy your life while he's gone too.
Finally, if he gets this travelling out of his system now, then you may never have to do long distance again. Once he returns, he may be in a place to settle down and stay by you. This should allow you to feel more secure and settled knowing that it's out of the way and you can start concentrating on you as a couple more. He may want to travel to places with you instead of on his own too.
There are potentially many positives to come out of this situation, so perhaps try to search for those rather than the negatives. That will only make the time go slower and stop you from achieving personal goals in the next few months.
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