Becky asks:
Hi Becky,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Although relationships move away from sex and more towards friendships the longer you are together, there still needs to be an element of attraction the beginning of any pairing. It seems that your feelings towards him lean more towards something platonic than romantic.
If the strength in your relationship lies within the friendship part, then it sounds like that is something you can still provide if you were to no longer be a couple.
There is no right time to dial back a relationship. You have already mentioned that his mother is ill, however if you were to wait, then something else might come up to make you hang on longer.
Perhaps if you tell him now, you could still live as roommates for a while so he can get used to the idea that you will no longer be an item but just friends. Asking him to move out might be too much at once if he is already fragile right now. What he might need more than anything is your friendship to help him through the tougher times to come. That way he might see that you don't want him out of your life altogether, just that you want to change the nature of your relationship.
It seems that you value having him in your life and the happiness he brings to you and brought to your mum. The most important thing is that you have tried to make it work and make him happy. It sounds like you have taken the foundations of a friendship and tried to build up them, but it hasn't clicked for you.
If the spark isn't there, then the longer you are together the more attached he might become thus making it even harder to break the news to him.
tagged in Relationship boyfriend
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