Freya asks :

Hi Lucy, 

My boyfriend owes me £700 and was supposed to be saving for a holiday we have booked. But he spent over £250 on an online game. After two years of this that was the last straw. But I love him and feel like I couldn't live without him. I know I should stand my ground and leave but it's hard. Please help. What should I do?

 

Hi Freya,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If your partner isn't good with money, then perhaps you need to separate your finances. If he can't save up for a holiday, then don't book one until he has the money. If he never has the money- he doesn't go on holiday- it's a hard lesson to learn but might just help him to see that you won't support him every time he spends money frivolously.

If you do have the funds then perhaps you could go away with friends or a family member. You shouldn't have to miss out because he can't put some money aside.

In terms of the one you have booked, if you think that he isn't dedicated to saving up for it then perhaps it's time to get your deposit back or arrange to go with someone else.

You say you can't live without him -is it a fear of being alone rather than not being with him? If so, then maybe you are with him for the wrong reasons.

If financial security is something you place a lot of importance on then perhaps he is not the guy for you. If you are willing to help him become better with his money then perhaps you can try to offer your advice, however you mention it being the 'last straw' so it sounds like he has done this before and hasn't learned from his mistakes.

Maybe he needs help, but perhaps you are not the one to give it to him if you have tried in the past and nothing has changed. Whatever you decide, make sure that his actions don't impact on your own credit scores and personal financial situation. Whether you stay or go, any association with his money might hinder you in future, so it may be worth trying to operate as independently as possible where money is concerned to protect yourself.


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