Wendy asks :

Hi Lucy,

My husband has visited a massage parlour. How can I ever trust him again or forgive him?

Hi Wendy,

 How can I trust him again?

How can I trust him again?

Infidelity is one of the hardest things that a married couple potentially has to face and forgiveness and trust might be difficult to comprehend when you have only just found out.

If you want to stay in your marriage, then perhaps the first thing to do is talk to him and ask him why he felt the need to stray. Usually infidelity is in response to something that is not going to plan at home- so is there an area of your relationship that you can work on so he does not need to fill the gaps elsewhere?

Building up the trust for him again might be particularly difficult, so maybe you could enrol in some couple’s counselling while you are enduring the hardest part of this process. It might help you both to make sense of where your relationship perhaps went wrong and what can be done to get it back on track again.

If he cannot commit to never doing this again, then you might need to decide if you can put up with this in your marriage or whether you want to break free and look for someone who will be monogamous. 


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