Jamie asks :

Hi Lucy,

I’m moving out with my boyfriend who I love a lot but he's got a new job which involves travelling to China a few times a year, we been together for 2 and half years now and everything was perfect until I heard he has to travel. I cry every day the thought of him leaving for weeks at a time and it’s causing a lot of rows. I don't want to split up with him but in so afraid I will be miserable living in the house alone when he's away. How can I feel different about this situation?

Hi Jamie,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Long distance relationships are generally very difficult for couples, however many learn to find ways of coping with this strain.

If everything was perfect before you found out about this, does that mean that you love him enough to try and make this work? If you resign yourself to things going bad once he has gone then you will likely find it very hard. Try to fixate on when you will be together again and try to make the most of the time you have until he goes and when you talk/ text/ skype- talk about the next time you will be seeing each other rather than focusing on that fact that you are not  together there and then.

Perhaps try to be inventive with the way you communicate with each other- with emails while you are at work, texts in the day, send pictures, love letters. Anything that keeps your romance going and ensures that you have little things to look forward to in the way of exchanges.

While he is away if you find that you are miserable, try to arrange time with friends and family, get a hobby that you enjoy and keep yourself busy with things when you are at home- a TV programme a book, anything to stop yourself from feeling lonely. There will be times when you do but try and find something to take your mind of it.

 


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