Lucy asks :
Hi Lucy,
Me and this guy I've worked with for 2 years started sleeping together about 10 months ago now, we both just got out of relationships so we agreed we didn't want anything serious just to have fun. Anyway a few months after we both admitted we had fallen for each other and he told me he loved me. He bought me gifts for my birthday, he has for Christmas and we go on dates and spend a lot of time together, however he says he wants to wait till January for us to start actually going out officially? I don't understand why? Is he just leading me on? He says it's so he can start the New Year fresh with me. But I'm not too sure.
Hi Lucy,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It does seem like an odd request given that he has told you he loves you- so why not ask him? If it was the other way around he would probably want to know why. Maybe it's for the sake of everyone else? If people in the office didn't know about you before he might want to let them think that it is a new romance and not be asked questions about the past 10 months. This could make things at work very awkward, so he could be protecting you and him from being the product of office gossip.
If he is true to his word then you should be exclusive any time now- so if he keeps delaying then perhaps he didn't mean what he said. If he doesn't delay, then you know he actually did want to start things up in the New Year. He might have had a bad year and wants to put that behind him and have a fresh start with you.
Men tend not to bother so much with women in terms of giving out gifts and saying the 'l' word unless they mean it, so sounds like he might have strong feelings for you. Perhaps give him till the end of the month and gauge things from there. The last thing you need is to be left hanging with promises of being together as each month rolls on. If this happens perhaps talk to him and tell him how his determination to delay has made you feel.
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