How do I maintain my relationship?

Hi Dhruv,

Relationship maintenance is all about having a good foundation- if you are friends before anything else then you have a lot to work with. Having that friendship means that you can stand to spend lots of time together; time apart is good but you have to be ok with spending a large proportion of your life with your partner.

In tying to maintain it’ don’t be overbearing- you still need your own space and be your own person. Try to spend a few times a month with your friends and her with hers, do different activities apart- such as hobbies or watch your respective TV shows in different rooms of the house. Being with each other 24/7 can often break a relationship up because you lose your identities and pick up more on the things that niggle you about each other.

The most important part of any relationship is communication. Why not tell her that you are keen to maintain what you have? This will give her the reassurance that she needs that you are in it for the long term and many women like to hear stuff like that! Men who are willing to commit are rare creatures so perhaps be honest so you both know where you stand.

What is key here is not too put too much pressure on you or her. If you are good together already, you shouldn’t need to make any huge changes, simply keep on as you are and try to avoid the obvious pitfalls. If you are too fixated on maintaining things then you might end up altering the balance that you both already have and rock the boat.

Lucy x