My sister in law is ruining our family!

Hi there, thanks for getting in touch.

If you have already approached this then there is little more you can do. Some people you can get on with, others you can’t the main thing is that your brother is happy. If you sense that he is not content to be with her then perhaps talk to him about it. Approach it carefully, however, not as an attack on her but as a means to ensure his happiness.

If it comes down to family gatherings, perhaps invite her over less. It’s easier said than done when you want to see your brother but perhaps arrange a lad's night out with your brother rather than a get together with family and partners.

If you all feel the same about her and are in the majority then you should all try hard not to let one person ruin it for the rest. Try and ignore her comments and her attitude and carry on with your event. Perhaps she senses that you all don’t like her and has given up on trying. Or perhaps she is like this with everyone- if she is trying to provoke you the worst thing you can do is succumb to it. If you ignore her when she is like this- it’s like dealing with a child – she will get bored.

If she only takes and never gives, then try offering less. Whatever form your kindness may come in- if you know that she won’t appreciate it or won’t return the favour then don’t do it. All I can say is be civil for the sake of your brother but if she is not going to make the effort for the sake of her husband then just do the minimum required to get by and keep your brother happy.  

Good luck,

Lucy x