stacy asks :

hello.... i have a good sex life but recently i cant orgasm, sometimes i feel like im getting there but i dont and the feeling just goes again. i dont no what to do? my boyfriend always does but why has this suddenly started to happen? Xx

First of all you need to relax. Everyone goes through phases where orgasm is harder to achieve. It can be anything from your stress levels to the time of the month that can alter the way you orgasm.

I Can't Orgasm!

I Can't Orgasm!

The more you stress about reching orgasm- the less likely you are to get there. The best way to make the most of sex is to make sure you are relaxed. Try having a nice chilled out bath before you get down to it. Then maybe get your boyfriend to give you a relaxing massage with some sensual oils to get you in the mood.

You need to take it slow and gently build up to orgasm with plenty of foreplay. If you take the time to enjoy the build up to you orgasm it will be much stronger and feel amazing.

Just remember not to stress out if you don't achieve orgasm every time you have sex- a lot of women don't- but you will get there in the end. Have fun trying.

We hear this problem from hundreds of women everyday....and most of the time it can be sorted with a little bit of man training. You see the female orgasm is a lot more complex than the male's. It's not just a case of pressing the right buttons and applying the right pressure in the right places- it is also connected to the mind.

At the minute you are not in the right frame of mind because you are worrying to much about orgasm. As Yin says, you should spend more time building up to sex to make sure you are relaxed and in the right mood.

Women also orgasm in different ways. Some women can orgasm through penetration alone although a lot of women need some clitoral stimulation too. You need to discover how your body works before you can achieve your best orgasms and a good way to do that is to experiment on your own through masturbation. Once you know how to make yourself orgasm you can show your partner how you like it. If you're shy about telling him he's not doing it quite right then you could incorporate it into foreplay by giving him a little show by playing with yourself in front of him- trust me he'll love it!

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