The new rage that is hitting sexually active couples is the #aftersex selfie. So if it’s not enough to publicly tell everyone what you are eating, where you are going on holiday, what you are doing with your Saturday night and conveying your mood with an emoticon, now people are sharing their, previously discreet bedroom time too.
You could ask- what’s the harm? It’s not porn, there is no nakedness in it, simply a dishevelled looking man or woman with rather rosy cheeks next to someone sleeping or posing just the same as the person holding the phone. You don’t have to divulge positions; quality of orgasms or potential sex toy use- just how you look post coitus. What could be wrong with such a thing?
Now I don’t know about you, but after having sex people do tend to look like they have had a healthy session at the gym. There are mascara tracks, what looks like backcombed hair, sweat and make up run- none of which make for the best photo. But if you are one of those posters of your best and your worst, then I suppose go ahead. But for those who only like to look your most perfect in images of yourself- it might not fit in with your pic posting criteria.
There is always going to be that part inside you that gets kick out of telling people that you have sex, even better if it’s good sex. Like that moment when you can tell people you have lost your virginity- does the #aftersex selfie encourage a mental high five like when you were young? The novelty never really wears off when you get older if you think you are doing something that your friends aren’t and can pass on your sexual wisdom. So I guess that is why this has become such a phenomenon- you might as well say; in case you were wondering- ‘my relationship is healthy because we are still having sex- look- see’!
But could this be an excuse to cover a world of problems with your partner to fool everyone else into thinking that your pairing is enviably perfect?
It does beg the question- does it go side by side with pictures of flowers on Valentine’s Day and gushy posts about your loved ones that might be a mask to give people this false sense of your life?
Is it most simply just another bid for attention like posts that say ‘I have had such a bad day’ which of course encourages nosy ‘friends’ to then respond with ‘oh no why?’ in false concern.
I suppose that on the other hand- sex is healthy expression of your commitment to one another and it is something that should be celebrated if after a few years of being together- you are still knocking each other’s socks off. But does the #aftersex selfie rub it in the noses of those relationships that are not doing so well and are missing that element? Is it necessary to take a picture of this nature to prove something to the world about the state of the physical side of your relationship?
Sex is something that we are increasingly becoming more open about so it might be that this is just the bi-product of the Fifty Shades generation, where nothing is really taboo anymore. It is not something that we should hide or be afraid of, however there is something romantic about having sexual secrets and things kept between the four walls of a couple’s living quarters.
For those who are sleeping next to the photographer- do they give permission or is it a case of you snooze you lose? A picture taken and posted by one might not be consented by the other-causing a new wave of arguments in the bedroom- as if you needed anymore.
After the leaked naked celebrity pictures- do people need to think more about what they keep for public and private use? What might seem like a good idea at the time- 'let's tell everyone I still get laid'- could come back to bite you. Have you checked you privacy settings? If you don’t have them in place who could be looking at your #aftersex selfies? Potential employers perhaps?
So what do you think? Has the #aftersex selfie encouraged us all to revert to playground politics where sex is conversational currency or is it a way of showing that world that sex is nothing to be ashamed of?
tagged in Couples