Today is National Tea Day, so we thought we would delve a little deeper into the cup and find out what your brew says about your bonking habits.

How do you take yours?

How do you take yours?

Milky- You are whiter than white to everyone who knows you outside of the bedroom- but once you trust someone to tickle your treasured titbits you between the sheets- that innocent veil is lifted.

In a posh mug- You spend a lot on your sex life and have to be dressed for the dirty to tease out the inner totty. You are mortified when something unexpected happens while you’re humping like a stray queef because it feels distinctly un-lady like.

Loose Leaf- There is no polite way to put this but you enjoy sex and not just with the one person- you don’t mind spreading yourself around and think nothing of having multiple lovers on the go at once or even in the same sex session.

Green Tea- You worry too much about other peoples’ sex lives and are often jealous when friends confide in you about something they’ve done that you haven’t. You don’t like to feel left out and try to tailor your sex according to what other people are getting up to rather than just enjoying it in a way that suits you.

Strong- You are attracted to lovers who can lift you up and take you roughly against the wall of the bedroom, the shower, the elevator- anywhere- you don’t really mind as long as your legs are wrapped around their waist- you’re one happy bunny.

Fruity- Your sex life is crazy to say the least- you like it anywhere and anytime and the more adventurous the sex- the better. You have done it all and if you’ve missed out on anything- chances are it’s on your to do list.   

Earl Grey- Forget fifty shades- you like one shade and that is all. You don’t care that your sex life is predictable and regimented- it gets you off every time and you don’t have the patience to try new stuff in case it does nothing for you. You want satisfaction guaranteed and trust in the tried and tested.