By sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox
Men are obsessed with porn
Men watch porn – most men watch porn. But most men enjoy porn without binging on it and enjoy sex with their partners. Most don’t replace one with the other.
Watching porn doesn’t mean he’s more likely to cheat either. In fact, if he has a higher sex drive than you and he’s watching porn, chances are he’s probably NOT cheating.
If he enjoys anal stimulation, he must be gay
There are certain bits on human bodies that feel good sexually if they’re touched in the right way. We’re hot-wired that way.
If you couldn’t see and didn’t know who was touching you, you could be turned on by anyone.
And I mean anyone.
While our brains most certainly contribute to what turns us on, there’s a hell of a lot of anatomy at play also.
The term ‘erogenous zone’ refers to places in our body that are packed with nerve endings so have heightened sensitivity.
The anus is one of them. Stimulate it effectively and he will feel pleasure - simple as that.
If he enjoys anal simulation, it’s because it feels good and he’s comfortable enough in his sexuality NOT to be hung up on the ‘this must mean I’m gay’ myth.
Anal stimulation alone does not make him gay. Continually wanting to and having sex with other men is what makes him gay (or bi).
Men want sex all the time
Some men do. Some women do as well. Some men also want to watch sport all the time. Some don’t. Some men want to sleep all the time. Some don’t. I think you get my drift.
There is continual and constant research on male versus female sex drives that turns up interesting and complex results. The implications are there are many factors at play, when predicting someone’s sex drive, not just gender.
The standard sex myth that says ‘men want sex, women want love’ is passé and hopelessly out of date. In fact, research by online sex toy retailer Lovehoney found that sex with love was more important to men than women.
If he can’t get an erection, he doesn’t fancy you
Plenty of things stop him getting hard – too much alcohol, not feeling well, stress, performance anxiety, some medication, the need for more or different stimulation – and the list goes on.
Contrary to popular belief, his penis isn’t operated by a mechanical lever that moves to ‘up’ whenever he sees a hot woman.
OK, well there might be something in that theory for the average 17-year-old but once grown-up life steps in, with all its pressures and stress, that soon disappears.
Men are not naturally monogamous, but women are
No doubt Donald Trump believes it but most (sane) men gave up on the ‘Sorry I cheated honey but I’m programmed to do it’ argument eons ago.
Women are still more socialized to restrict themselves to one partner but figures for the number of women having affairs continues to rise.
We’re not animals – we have brains and the ability to reason. Cheating is a choice not a biological need.
Men need an erection to enjoy sex
Psychologically, most men would probably prefer to have an erection during any sort of sexual activity even if penetrative sex isn’t on the agenda.
Why? Because both sexes have been brainwashed to think desire equals a hard penis. It doesn’t. (See above)
Arousal happens in the brain: he could be massively turned on giving you oral but still not be hard by time you’ve had an orgasm.
Turning you on is a huge erotic kick: your reaction is about to star in his next masturbatory session.
Men can control how long they last in bed
While there are a lot of things that can help me hold off orgasm and ejaculation, it’s also down to genetics. The size of his penis, how long his dad lasted (and his dad) – all this is completely out of his control.
By all means try out all the tried-and-tested methods but after that, let it go and work around it if he doesn’t last long.
Tracey has her own range of sex toys with Lovehoney, Britain's biggest online sex toy retailer.