For some couples having a threesome can be a truly satisfying experience and can bring them closer together, but for others it’s an absolute disaster. Follow these steps to ensure that inviting another to share your bed will be a good thing.

Talk it over

Talk it over

  1. Talk it over. Firstly you and your partner need to know that you’re on the same page when it comes to having a threesome. For some people it’s an absolute no no. It’s a good idea to remember that if one of you says no, then you both say no.
  2. Don’t pick a friend. No matter how tempting it might be to choose someone you both know please don’t. If for any reason your threesome experience isn’t everything you hoped it would be the last thing you need is a constant reminder.
  3.  Do a bit of online shopping. Thanks to the miracle that is the internet there are many sites where you can filter your search results. This is great as it means you don’t waste your time looking at people who aren’t interested, or embarrass yourself by approaching someone and reading the situation wrong. This can also be great for you and your partner, making the decision together increases intimacy levels and can help strengthen the bond between you.
  4. Once you’ve both agreed to try a threesome and you’ve found someone that you like then you need to make a set of guidelines. Sit down together and iron out any possible causes for concern. For example, is there anything that’s off limits? Once you’ve got your list you both need to agree and commit to each and every item on there.
  5. Now it’s date time. All three of you should go out on a date. This is for several reasons. It helps you and your partner to be sure you’re doing the right thing for your relationship, it allows you both to get to know your new partner and to make sure that you have a physical rapport with them that will translate to the bedroom. You can be very attracted to someone on paper but feel nothing towards him or her in the flesh.
  6. Choose a neutral place. Keep a threesome out of your own home, it’s always a good idea to book a hotel room instead and keep the threesome separate from you ‘normal’ lives.
  7. Use protection. The best sex is safe sex, so always make sure you’re using protection. If not, the very least you should do is ensure everyone is in tiptop sexual health before you begin by visiting your GUM clinic.
  8. Sharing is caring. It can be difficult for some to remember that there are three of you in this situation; ultimately one person can be made to feel like the third wheel, which is never wanted. Split your time equally between both partners and if for any reason one person needs to leave the bed then stop what you’re doing and wait, it’s only polite after all.
  9. Watch your step. Ultimately there may be a scenario that arises which you and your partner haven’t talked about. If in doubt just don’t do it. It’s always better to stay safe and tread carefully.
  10. Have a debrief. In the wake of the event it’s a good idea for you and your partner to talk about what happened. Discuss any bits you really liked and air anything you weren’t really keen on.

Remember, however you decide to do it and whoever you decide to do it with it’s incredibly important to always have your partner’s pleasure and wellbeing at the forefront of your mind. Sharing is always better when it’s mixed with caring too!

Annabelle Knight is one of the UK's most relevant experts when it comes to dating, sex and relationships.

Annabelle works with the London radio station, Fubar, hosted alongside celebrity broadcasters debating hot topics and taking live calls from listeners. She regularly appears on ITV’s This Morning and Channel 5’s Big Brother’s Bit on the Side. In print Annabelle has written for Now Magazine, Female First, The Sun, Women’s fitness and many more. 

She has also appeared in Channel 4's 'More Sex Please' and Sky Lifetime's 'The Joy of Sex Toys, series one and two. She has worked with a number of magazines and online publications all over the globe and to top it all off you can even watch her on Netflix in the documentary series 'Frisky Business.' 

Annabelle is an international sex and relationship expert and has offered advice all around the world including Europe, India and Australia. 

Annabelles debut novel ‘the Endless Autumn’ hits the shops summer 2017.

She also offers one on one coaching to couples in need, helping them to achieve a healthier and happier life, whether it be on the phone, via email or through Skype.


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