Sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox on the five 'quirkiest' sex questions everyone is too shy to ask
They include whether men with small penises really do climax more quickly (they do!) and what is the optimum duration time for sexual intercourse (between five and 13 minutes, though most men only last two).
Is there any relationship between the size of a man's penis and how quickly he ejaculates?
Not only do below average-sized men have to grin and bear all those big-is-better jokes, they ejaculate much faster than their larger friends so have to grit their teeth through jokes about that as well. All penises have roughly the same number of nerve endings in the head. If his penis is small, they're concentrated over a smaller area that makes him more sensitive and prone to premature ejaculation. The opposite is true for men with big penises because the nerves are spread over a larger area. Highly unfair, yes.
How long is a good period of time to have intercourse? I thought the longer the better but my new girlfriend tells me it can get boring.
While there are some women who enjoy uninterrupted, prolonged intercourse, the majority don't. Our natural vaginal lubrication tends to dry up over a long period of time and sex becomes painful. Not to mention boring. Keep on banging away, in the same position, for too long and we'll have mentally rehearsed the next day's work presentation five times over, rather than panting ecstatically. An average of the most reputable studies comes out at between five and 13 minutes as the preferred intercourse duration. Most men orgasm after two minutes.
My husband calls his penis Arthur. What is all that about? Women don't name their bits, how come men do?
Frank, George, Wilbur, Arthur – men are fond of naming their 'best friend' (oddly, often by the very names they use for their other best friend, the one with four legs). It all loops back to the male tendency to base their self-esteem on their masculinity and sexual prowess. Women usually base their self-worth on their relationships, men on qualities like strength, status, power and performance. The ultimate symbol of all of these - the penis - can therefore be quite terrifying to the man attached. Naming it makes it seem more friendly, softening the effect the penis has of, quite literally, holding its owner by the balls.
When I orgasm I get quite dizzy, like the room is spinning and I feel nauseous. A friend of mine says she gets headaches. Is this normal?
An orgasm is simply the release of the blood - which has pumped furiously into your genital area during arousal - back into your system. In the same way getting up too quickly can make you feel dizzy, an orgasm can make you feel the same.
As for your friend who gets headaches: research suggests it's more likely to happen after quick sex than a longer session because the blood pressure 'spike' is more pronounced (this is usually what's responsible for the headache). If she lets herself get aroused slowly, it may solve the problem. But if it's happening regularly I'd very much like her to trot along to see a doctor with you.
My previous boyfriend used to constantly make fun of the face I make when I orgasm. It's made me really self-conscious and I'm now dreading having sex with any future boyfriends. What can I do?
He's obviously an ex for a reason: tactlessness. Lots of us make weird 'orgasm faces' – and I have to say, the more passionate the lover, the weirder the face. So he should take it as a compliment! Good sex is sloppy, sweaty and immensely unflattering. We hyperventilate, frown, scream, show our tonsils and do a lot of scrunching up of our faces. You're normal. I suspect the teasing was prompted by jealousy: he wished he could lose himself in the moment so totally.
Tracey Cox has her own range of sex toys with Lovehoney.co.uk