While every woman who has ever been asked the question by her man knows that the stock answer is a resounding NO!, the issue of penis size and whether it really matters, depends very much on what you are using it for.

Dr Helen Webberly

Dr Helen Webberly

Let’s start with procreation.

For the record. When it comes to getting pregnant, size is not an issue. Small, large, fat, thin, long, short. As long as the penis can achieve erection and ejaculation, and assuming sperm function is healthy, size is absolutely irrelevant.

Answering the question becomes a little more tricky if the focus is on sexual satisfaction. The truth is that, as with all matters relating to sexual preference, everyone is different in what they like and what they are looking for from their ideal sexual partner. It is important to note, that we are not talking about ideal partners in general terms. Sex is a vital element in any healthy relationship, but no successful relationship was ever built on penetration alone.

The explosion of internet porn, available for free and via just a few clicks of a button, may be blamed as key driver behind the current obsession with large penis size. Men and women alike see actors on screen and, in spite of the fact that they may have been employed specifically as a result of their larger than average member, perceptions become skewed, men aspire to looking like the adult actors and both women - and men - aspire to be with men of similar proportions.

This may particularly be an issue with younger audiences for whom this is their first encounter with sex. Pornography offers an idealised, unrealistic and stereotypical view of adult sexuality. Penis size is central to this. The danger is that ‘large’ becomes the new norm, which feeds into the idea that only larger penis’ can result in sexual satisfaction. It is easy to see how anyone with a normal penis might feel inadequate.

Of course, this all assumes that when it comes to sex, it is the penis that does all the work.

Any women who has ever had a satisfying sexual encounter will tell you that the penis is just one of the many ingredients necessary for a fulfilling experience. Sexual satisfaction comes from the engagement of the mind and body all of which is achieved through a combination of: attraction, kissing, touching, talking, stimulation and if desired, penetration. Whatever a person’s preference size-wise, without all of these key elements, sex can be a bit of a let down.

We come in a range of shapes and sizes. Being comfortable with who we are as individuals, changing what we can and accepting what we can’t, is vital in our own growth and in achieving satisfaction in our sexual encounters - whatever we discover between the sheets.


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