The weekends are a perfect time to veg out and care a little less about being clean and tidy- however some of you are habitually messy as couples- so we take a look at your dirtiest of secrets.
Relationships on Female First
Washing- Your washing is spread systematically around the house- socks gather by the couch, soiled underwear is scattered about the bedroom floor and when it's wash day- you look like you have gone into business as a laundrette. Seriously- washing hangs from every horizontal surface.
Cupboard doors- Your kitchen is like a scene from Paranormal Activity. When you go on your post-work snack seeking mission- closing every door after you have inspected the contents of the cupboard is like a gym session level of effort.
Visitors- They need to give you a call or text before they arrive with at least half an hours' notice so you can get dressed, clean your bathroom, spray some room deodoriser and run around the hoover- as a minimum. If they arrive without telling you- you leave them on the doorstep for as long as possible while the other frantically tries to hide the most embarrassing parts of your messy existence.
You are aware of the mess- Your minds are not oblivious to the chaos that sits around you. You choose to ignore it- because no one will see it but the two of you- you hope.
You are jealous of other people's ability to put things away- You have seen other people's houses and know how you should live- and you are envious of how beautifully decorated and tidy their houses are. For a brief moment you think- 'I could do that when I get home' but still you can't summon up the energy to give a rat's ass when the novelty has worn off and the TV beckons.
When you clean- you clean- When it's time for the weekly or dare I say it monthly dig out- you go to town- you do things you would never normally- like bleach door handles and guide dental floss around your cooker knobs to get out that hard to reach grime. 'Little and often' does not exist in your world.
You play a game of 'we could'- You discuss the notion of tidying up and actually assign tasks to one another- then you realise that it can wait another day and Game of Thrones, a take-out pizza and a cheeky beer is much more appealing.
Crockery- You have a dishwasher- because let's face it- neither of you would ever have anything to eat off if you had to do it by hand- but who empties it is a daily argument.
Glasses- Your place actually looks like you are preparing for aliens a la Signs- there are glasses everywhere- you feel a little frivolous with your cup usage given that you don't have to wash them by hand.
A clean house lasts five minutes- After one of your 'big cleans' your house looks immaculate for about an hour, then the glasses, socks and general detritus remerges. Like sabotaging a diet- you think- well 'what's the point?'
One of you always cracks- When something starts to smell- one of you has brief attack of cleanliness and blames the other person for all of the mess. They notice stuff they wouldn't normally to add weight to their argument- like a tiny spec of a sweetie paper on the floor- 'was this you?!???'
You never make the bed- Only if you have guests- who might catch a glimpse of it on the way to the bathroom- otherwise- you secretly hope that fairies do exist and will take care of it while you are at work.
tagged in Couples