Buy loads of sweets- 'For the trick or treaters' but you know from previous years that you always buy far more than they could eat- but it's ok because you can enjoy the leftovers!

Carve pumpkins!

Carve pumpkins!

Buy random crap to put around the house- Which you know is a complete waste of money because it's one day- but you want to get into the mind-set. That can only be done with a cheap, plastic ghost and fake spiders, which you have to count every time you walk past in case your house spiders playing a cruel trick on you.

Carve a pumpkin- You're both well past trick or treating age but you still want to do something to mark the occasion so you buy two pumpkins and have a competition as to who's looks the scariest.

Casually throw around comments like- 'We could make a pumpkin pie out of this' or 'let's make a necklace out of the seeds' with no real intention of doing either.

Watch scary movies- You don't need an excuse for a movie night on Halloween- so you curl up with your duvet and appropriately themed snacks before putting on a horror movie you've seen loads of times before.

Scare your partner- It's your aim of the day to get at least one jump or scream out of them by whatever means necessary.

Complain about every child that knocks on your door- Even though you bought them sweets and want to be neighbourly- every one that comes to your door interrupts your scary movie and diminishes your sweetie supply. The cute outfits don't make up for their awful timing.

Complain that Britain doesn't do Halloween like America- Judged only by movies of course. You wish the Brits would get more involved so it would be socially acceptable for you to go begging for sugary treats with other childless adults.

Discuss how dangerous it is for kids to go knocking on doors in this day and age- You're in a safe street, sure, but you can never be too careful. Plus you've seen one too many scary movies so you're full of imagination when it comes to possible disguises for baddies.

Promise that when you have kids- You'll take them trick or treating. People react more kindly to adults taking their children from house to house than a couple who are penny pinching and want free chocolate.


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