By Anne Jones, self-help author and speaker
Christmas on Female First
With presents to choose, buy and wrap; dinners, arranging, preparing dinners, drinks and parties and the dreaded question of whose family do you visit on Christmas day there is no wonder you can get mega stressed in the Festive Season. Here are some of the ways that your relationship can get affected and how you might avoid the worst of it!
Watch out for Stress Attacks!
Shopping
My husband hates shopping. He refuses to come into shops and stands outside looking grim. So I feel pressurised and start to make wrong choices; after an hour he is looking at his watch and I am steaming. I now shop alone, on-line or in major malls where I can leave him in Starbucks with the wifi and my shopping bags.
Whose place for Christmas?
Choosing where you spend Christmas Day is a potential for arguments. Why not start Christmas Day with just the two of you opening presents with a romantic glass of bubbles. Afterward either go separately to your families for lunch or choose one by lucky dip then going to the other on Boxing Day. Decide that whatever you choose you won't allow it to affect your relationship and remember you cannot please everyone all the time!
Late nights
This is the time of the "What time is this to come home?" arguments. I have given up expecting my husband to come home at a reasonable time when it's a boy's night out. I go to bed and just hope to see him in the morning; so no stress for me and no bad feelings between us. After all he is the one with the hang over not me!
Running out of Time
Make sure you don't overfill your diary. One of the major causes for stress and short temper is running out of time with too many parties and too much to do in too little time. Give yourself some down time between socialising for recovery and start early for all preparations like wrapping, cooking and shopping.
Being Perfect
There is nothing wrong with buying readymade sauces, cakes and other Christmas food... If you are pushing yourself to put on the perfect meal, the perfectly laid table and still looking perfect when you sit down to eat you will be creating a huge potential for stress. Allow yourself some slack. Better to be a happy but a not-so-perfect hostess and cook than a stressed out and miserable one - you will be a lot more fun to be with!
Sharing and Caring
I used to take on all the chores at Christmas - probably a habit I picked up from my mother! So I would end up exhausted on my Birthday (Christmas Eve) and sit and glare angrily and resentfully at my partner - too tired to celebrate. Now I have designated his and hers chores that we both agree on. Share the work then you can share the fun!
ABOUT ANNE JONES
Anne Jones is an international author and key-note speaker. Her self-help books have been translated into 17 languages. With her down to earth style she helps her audiences and readers to find ways to cope with everyday problems and overcome the effects of trauma and loss. She gives practical advice on how to stay uplifted and energised as you face the challenges of life. See: https://annejones.org/course/healing-negative-energies/
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