The majority of people believe a serious, long-term relationship cannot survive without sex.
Relationships on Female First
A survey of members of online dating service EliteSingles has proved sex to be the magic that keeps a relationship alive.
With 80% of those asked saying a long term love can’t last without the good stuff, the same number agreed that a good relationship relies on frequent bed room antics.
This seems to be a subject that unites the sexes, with both men and women agreeing that having sex several times a week is the perfect recipe for a healthy romance. Abstinence is a no-go for nearly 70% of people who said they wouldn’t be able to consider a relationship without sex serious.
Over a quarter of men said they’d consider an abstinent partner if they were allowed other sexual encounters, but women disagree with less than 15% saying the same.
But the same women admitted to being more impatient when it comes to waiting for sex, 40% of women want sex within a few weeks of starting a relationship, whilst over half of gentlemen out there are prepared to wait as long as necessary.
We spoke to Anna Teigle, dating expert from EliteSingles, to discuss the gender divide and the resounding agreement that sex is essential to a lasting relationship.
Why do you think sex is so important for many people in relationships?
‘Chemically speaking, sex plays a huge role in the bonding of two people. Orgasms cause a huge surge of Oxytocin in the body, a chemical which aids bonding and trust. The other wonderful thing about sex is that it gives time-poor couples some time together - unlike our day-to-day lives, where multi-tasking has become the norm, sex allows two individuals to focus solely on each other.’
What other psychological factors play a role in a successful long-term relationship?
‘Healthy long-term relationships are characterised by trust and compatibility.’
Why are there differing opinions between men and women?
‘Our evolutionary past plays a big part. Tens of thousands of years ago women’s survival depended on their ability to maintain a bond to a man, so when a woman became pregnant she would focus on the one man who could provide for her during her time of vulnerability. Her male counterpart’s focus was on copulating as much as possible, and with many mates, to ensure that one or more of these copulations would result in a reproduction of his genes. These instincts still exist today (albeit in a far milder form) and may explain gender differences in opinions on sex.’
Do you think people have more sex now than they used to? Why?
‘Sex always has and always will be part of human relationships. I wouldn’t say people are having more or less sex than before, but lifestyles and cultural trends have certainly changed the style of our sexual liaisons.’
What psychological benefits can you get from having a healthy sex life?
‘Sex is incredibly important for psychological health. Sex lowers fear and anxiety, and it’s been found that people with good sex lives are better at handling stressful situations. Oxytocin chemicals (those same ones responsible for creating bonding and trust) are also a powerful painkiller.’
www.elitesingles.co.uk is a partnership service designed for UK singles looking for a long-term relationship. Its smart profiling helps introduce members to one another, and it offers guided communication and manual profile verification to ensure users have a smooth, safe environment to meet other like-minded singles.
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