Whatever you think of The Jeremy Kyle Show, or the man himself, there’s no doubt that the show is compelling viewing. In terms of morning TV, nothing really comes close to stirring up the emotions. Love the man, or hate him, personally I think Jeremy often speaks a lot of sense. He has an ability to cut through nonsense, petty drama, and tell it how it is. He can see through a smoke-screen, spot the red-herrings and pin the real issue down within a minute. I find myself often agreeing with him, in fact I find him very likable. Yet, I wonder how healthy such television is? Whilst the show is gripping I find myself judging the people who appear on the show - and their relationships. Yet, who am I, and why do I do that?

We compare own relationships against those of others

We compare own relationships against those of others

Relationships are my arena. I write about them. I’ve had a fair few myself, good, bad, magical and completely inappropriate. What I’m trying to say is that I’ve been around the block a few times. Yes, I’ve learnt a lot about relationships and heartbreak - I‘ve done a lot of my own personal development work around them. For people looking in from the outside at the relationships I’ve had, they only get part of the picture. They make their judgements based on what they see, and often on what other people say - whether rumours are true or not. I’ve written about health, lifestyle and self-help for over two decades. Some of my work is quite well known. I fiercely protect my relationships because of what I do, and my work comes under extra scrutiny from those peering in from the outside who are often quick to judge… and that’s OK.

As a writer I’m regularly sticking my head above the parapet. I have an opinion. Of course it has to be accepted that some are going to take pot-shots, especially when it’s an opinion that isn’t popular. It’s part of the course. I can easily say to myself; who are they to judge my relationships? It’s none of their business! They don’t know intricate dynamics of anyone else’s relationships except those of their own. But on closer inspection don’t we as the great British viewing public have the opportunity to judge other’s relationships every morning on programmes such as The Jeremy Kyle Show? …and we love it!

Whatever enjoyment is gleaned from watching such often captivating TV, at the root of it all is our propensity to compare own relationships against those of others. We have a natural fascination with other people’s relationships because it is how we learn about our own. It’s completely normal. There’s no manual I know of that covers every aspect of having the best possible and perfect relationship, given to us to read before we start to love. We are all just winging it and learning from each other.

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