Today is National Fragrance Day and sadly, not every couple is blessed with smelling like their favourite spray all the time. No- some people have body parts that will overbear anything they choose to spritz themselves with. Here are just a few things you might find familiar if your partner’s perfume doesn’t cover the nauseating niff of their feet.
Your couch aspirations were nipped in the bud- You liked the idea of sitting at opposite ends of the couch with your legs draped over each other while watching TV. That was until you experienced the foul stench of your partner's trotters and now you have to sit side by side and create some breathing room between you and the source of all that is evil.
You dread it when they take off their socks and or shoes- At the end of the day or to trim their toenails or something- you make sure you are a safe distance away from them when they do. Preferably near a plug in or reed diffuser.
You hide their shoes- You have to put their shoes in their wardrobe or in a special container in the hallway. If you left those bad boys out, people would think this is how you both and your house smell when they come to visit.
They have a large selection of remedies- Stuffed in the cupboard under the sink- but alas- none of them take that sickening smell away.
Every time they buy new shoes- You live in hope that this time will be different- but it never is. They have to throw them away eventually because they stink like something has crawled into their shoes to die.
If they ask you to tickle their feet- It makes you want to gag but you do it anyway out of love- and you always wash your hands afterwards.
You have bought them a foot bath in the past- In the hope that they'll use it before they bring those things anywhere near you- but it's stuffed in a cupboard upstairs somewhere- and never been used. You have to use your tears instead.
Their socks have to go on a hot wash- None of this 30 degree nonsense- 90 degrees is the only temperature that will rid their socks of the odour.
Footsie is a nightmare- When they touch your feet with theirs you wonder whether your toes and heels will ever feel or smell fresh again.
It's a running joke- You know they have a problem, they do too, but it's one of those things you learn to live with and poke fun at because you have something smelly too.
tagged in Partner