Today is National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day so if you’re in love with one- the following points may be your reality. We shouldn’t laugh… but it’s hard not to when this is what you have to put up with.

Your home is always atmospheric....

Your home is always atmospheric....

They have blitzed food over themselves at some point- Whether they forgot put the lid on properly or at all- there has been a food redecorating incident in your home. In fact, there are still specs on your kitchen cupboards to remind you of that fateful day.

They have mistaken salt for sugar and vice versa- You know now to take in each mouthful carefully and in small amounts after shovelling in some chips that were lovingly coated in vinegar, tomato sauce and…sugar. Gorgeous.  

The smoke alarm- Is a regular soundtrack to your life because they manage to burn everything- even cereal.

They have marks on their body- From when they took something out without sufficient hand protection, misjudged how ‘cool’ something was or cut themselves while chopping.

It’s a running joke in your family- That your lover can’t cook- they laugh with your folks while they jest but at home your significant other gets upset over their inadequacies in the kitchen, despite your reassurances that it doesn’t matter.  

You are on edge- Every time they go into the kitchen, even if it’s for a glass of water, because you associate that room with danger and the need to act fast. Every item has the potential to cause harm. 

You have your favourite take outs on speed dial- When their culinary creations go to pot- you have a few trusty food houses that always save you from starvation.

When you watch cooking shows- You are both blown away with how calm everyone seems around a stove and that there is something edible at the end. It’s like another world.

If you invite people over for a meal- They always ask if the food will be supplied by an outside caterer before committing to anything.

They never follow the recipe- Your partner is convinced that their failings are due to some sort of missing gene but they don’t ever follow a recipe without getting creative at some point with ingredients or amounts. You suggest they take it one step at a time before messing with things in the kitchen but that’s when you get slapped with a spatula. You've stopped uttering 'I told you sos' even though you still say it in your head with every new dinner disaster. 


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