How to handle Mr Unpredictable

20 April 2018

Most women have been there, it’s easy to talk a friend out of seeing him but particularly hard to let go of a guy like this yourself. He’s constantly keeping you on your toes and his moments of affection and attention are usually followed by a few days of silence. Eventually, the excuses and rescheduling are bound to start wearing thin. After a couple of days of not hearing from him or cancelled dates, the excitement starts to waver. There comes a time when if things can’t improve, women inevitably start to question if this is something they want to deal with.

Relationships on Female First

Dating should be fun; a combination of dinner, drinks and laughter, with the added excitement of a potential new relationship. What it shouldn’t be is full of worrying about cancellations, wondering if the feelings are mutual or being left in the lurch. The apprehension that comes with a date should be reserved for how it will go, not if he will turn up.

A number of questions arise when it comes to this man who seems to crop up in every woman’s life: Is he serious? Is he worth my time? Am I worth more? Women don’t want to feel like this, they want security and someone who has consistent levels of interest.

So, how can you handle Mr Unpredictable? Ben Edwards, a self-confidence expert and relationship coach, offers his expert tips for how to deal with the difficult man in your life. Ben knows that as soon as women start to question if this type of behaviour is actually making them happy, then they can start to think about how to deal with him.

Spot Mr Unpredictable Most people want a partner they can communicate with all week. What they don’t want is someone they have to wait until Friday to see, or someone who is keen one day and silent the next. One minute he’s interested and he’s got a lot to talk about, the next day he’s not. If you’ve come across Mr Unpredictable before and know you don’t want to deal with that again, then spotting these signs early and knowing where it’s headed can help you avoid any upset in the future. When it comes to texting, for example, if he’s being lazy and not willing to instigate a conversation on a regular basis or ask how your day has been then you shouldn’t give back more than you’re getting!

Look at it from his perspective On the other hand, it’s important not to tar all men with the same brush. Some people are genuinely busy and might be struggling to fit a new relationship into their routine. Some people do work a lot of hours and have other factors that make them busy, such as children or other family commitments. It’s easy to be harsh on a particular kind of person and to say one sex is all the same. I often remind my clients that just because they have had a bad experience before, it doesn’t mean men who are genuinely busy will be the same, hence why detecting if he’s a Mr Unpredictable or if he just has a hectic schedule is important.

Seek advice A professional can help you realise what will make you happy, I particularly help people think about things from various perspectives and realise how situations are affecting them. Talking to friends and seeking advice from them can be a great help. Those around you will know you best, so they will have a good understanding of what makes you happy and what you want – they will also remind you of what you deserve!

Know what you want and what you won’t tolerate You don’t have to lower your standards to get somebody. Your expectations are there for a reason and finding someone who meets those expectations is what will make you happy. Unfortunately, I see a lot of clients who begin to settle for something or someone because they think that’s the only way they will achieve what they want, but that doesn’t have to be the case. Sometimes handling Mr Unpredictable means letting go of that relationship and realising what will make you happy. Settling for something less isn’t fulfilling and will only make you feel down and resentful that you don’t really have what you are looking for.