Whilst legal firms are busy preparing for ‘Divorce Monday’ where they typically see a spike in enquiries from couples seeking a divorce post-Christmas holidays, I have been busy putting a list of tips together, to make sure that you don’t become a ‘Divorce Monday’ statistic.

Relationships on Female First

Relationships on Female First

One in five married couples are considering separating from their partners after staying together over the festive period, according to a poll of 2,000 spouses by legal firm Irwin Mitchell.

Christmas can be somewhat stressful for a variety of reasons, with one of the biggest issues being the huge expectations that come with the festive season. Worrying about how you’re going to pay for it all, as well as deciding what to get everyone, dealing with extended family who may be staying with you and getting everything done on time, are just a few pressure points that may cause an extra grey hair or two.

Although the Christmas stresses are unlikely to be the sole cause of a divorce, it can certainly be a challenging time and now I’m going to share my top tips on how to make it a joyful and merry time.

Christmas Do’s:

  1. Budget and brainstorm. Decide together how much money you can afford to spend on presents this year and stick to it. With all of the hype at this time of year it is easy to get carried away, but it is never worth getting into debt as it will only cause bigger problems down the line. Then you can start to come up present ideas that are within budget.
  2. Write up a ‘to do’ list. Make a comprehensive list of everything that needs doing, from buying the food, to decorating the tree, to wrapping the presents and divvy all the tasks up. This will take the pressure off one person feeling like they have to do everything and there is nothing like a bit of team work to make a couple feel more united.
  3. Get the kids involved. Children love to feel useful and let’s not forget that it is a family occasion so don’t be afraid to delegate! This will also take a bit of pressure off you as a couple and will make it a family affair.
  4. It doesn’t have to be the BEST. Remember that it is OK for it to be a ‘good’ Christmas. Often, when we set our expectations too high, we are also setting ourselves up for disappointment.
  5. It’s the thought that counts. The sentiment behind a gift is far more important than the cost of it. It is so meaningful to receive a gift that you know was thought through.
  6. Shop online. Nowadays, you can buy everything online. If you don’t have time to join the herds on the High Street, don’t panic and just opt for express delivery at the checkout!
  7. Make an effort with Aunty Vera and Uncle Frank. This is the one time of year to put your grievances to one side and do everything possible to make it a pleasant time for everyone.
  8. Treat yourself. With all of the Christmas madness, it is particularly important to take some time out for yourself, even if all you can manage is a long hot soak in the bath tub. This will help you relax and enjoy the festivities even more.  
  9. Be happy. Christmas should be a time for joy and laughter. Happiness is infectious and if you are in a good, upbeat, positive mood, that will rub off on everyone else and hopefully create a lovely atmosphere.
  10. Have fun! Remember it’s your Christmas too so enjoy a couple of drinks, have fun, laugh and be merry. Don’t worry if things don’t go exactly to plan. Instead try to make a joke of it and you may even find yourself laughing about burning the roast potatoes in Christmases to come!

 

 

Rachel MacLynn is a Chartered Psychologist, Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society, the Founder and Managing Director of Vida Consultancy and sits on the Advisory Committee of the Matchmaking Institute.

The Vida Consultancy was awarded ‘Matchmaking Agency of the Year’ in the European Dating Awards 2016. Vida specialises in finding life partners. The Vida Consultancy has over 5,000 members globally.

Rachel MacLynn

Accolades include:

2016 – WINNER: European Dating Awards for 'Matchmaking Agency of the Year'

2016 - Finalist: International iDate Awards for ‘Best Matchmaker'

2015 - Finalist: UK Dating Awards for ‘Matchmaking Agency of the Year’ and ‘Dating Entrepreneur of the Year’ 

2015 - Second Runner Up: International iDate Awards for ‘Best Matchmaker’

2014 - Finalist: UK Dating Awards for ‘Best Matchmaker’

Visit http://www.thevidaconsultancy.com/

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