Setting New Years goals as a couple is a great way of ensuring your relationship is healthy and happy. There are many ideas and theories about goal setting but here are Love Mentor Elizabeth Sullivan's simple ten tips to achieving your relationship goals in 2017.

It could be saving money for a joint endeavour

It could be saving money for a joint endeavour

Keeping dreaming - Michael Joseph of the London College of Clinical Hypnosis, talks about the Clear Goal Concept. It's important you have a dream in mind but simply dreaming of achieving a goal is not enough. You need to imagine how you want your relationship to be, imagine being on that dream holiday together, smell the sea air, and feel the warmth of the sun against your bodies as you lie on the beach.

Take some time for yourself - Away from your partner have a think about what your individual goal/dream is. Make sure your partner does the same and set individual goals as well as ones together.

Open the dialogue - Talk together, discuss what you both want and brainstorm ideas. What is most important to you both in a relationship and what do you want to achieve? What is the ideal? Create a dream that excites you both.

Limit the number of goals you set - It's best to limit the number of goals you set as we all have limited time and energy. People can try to set too many goals which are unachievable and end up giving up. Too many goals can also lead to them becoming contradictory; try to keep it to a few key things that will make you both happier in your relationship.

Take immediate action - Before you realise a dream there is hard work. As Henry ford said, 'People keep saying I'm lucky; the harder I work the luckier I get'. The hard work you put in is very important. The people who achieve their goals are often those that start working towards them straight away.

Agree actions - What do you both need to do to reach your goals? Are there small changes you have agreed to make each day, such as helping out more around the house or trying not to nag your partner? Or are they more long term actions; such as agreeing to give your partner some space after an argument. Ask questions like how will we get there and what are the steps we need to take?

Write down your goals - By writing down your New Year's relationship goals there will be no dispute later on about what they were. Putting them somewhere you can both see them regularly like the fridge, will also act as a reminder for you both.

Review your progress - Do this regularly to make sure you're on track. If you're not, what do you need to do to adjust to ensure you're achieving your goal? It might take a while to get used to altering your behaviour such as remembering to compliment your partner or ask them how their day was. Don't beat yourself up if you don't remember to make these changes daily in the beginning, but at the same time do assess how things are going.

Alter your goal if necessary - Circumstances may change so don't be afraid to change the goal. For example, if you have committed to two date nights a week but your partner has suddenly had to take on a demanding project at work and travel a lot, then try to be flexible. Discuss with your partner and agree a new way to work around the goal, perhaps you might only have one date night a week for the duration of the project but agree to take a break away together after.

Relax - Don't pressurise yourself or your partner into setting goals you're not comfortable with. It doesn't work for everyone, so if it's not working for you take a break and maybe come back to it later on in the year, remember it's a marathon not a sprint!


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