I hear you… Of course you are! Many women dream of tying the knot with the perfect man, however the hard part is turning the dream into reality. As you go from one unsuccessful relationship to another and after you’ve experienced a few dating disasters you start thinking that perhaps there aren’t any great men left out there and you’re just meant to be by yourself.
Relationships on Female First
You start losing interest in finding love and start focusing your energy on other things but the challenge is to remain focused on your quest to find love and manage your mindset. Change the question from ‘are you worthy of having a dream husband’ to ‘what made me think I’m not?’ Your mindset is everything when it comes to helping you find your perfect man. Your mindset is how you approach the world. If you are negative then you run the risk of either isolating yourself, or making the same mistakes over and over again.
Often, we expect the fairytale where the person magically appears in our life, perfect and ready to go but this is a very unrealistic expectation. Before embarking on your quest to find the perfect relationship, you need to have the right mindset, be determined and not let external factors put you off.
Here are just a few of the negative thoughts you may have and some suggestions on how to change your way of thinking. Changing your mindset doesn’t have to be difficult, just making a few changes to the way you think can have a massive impact on your attitude and your life.
I am not good looking
Beauty is an abstract construct. Not everyone has the same taste. It would be a very boring world to live in if we all found the same people beautiful.
I work too much and perhaps that’s off putting to guys who don’t want a career obsessed woman
There are more and more guys who admire independent women and are eager to meet and marry a woman who has a life of her own and knows what she wants in life.
I am too fat, I need to lose weight first.
This a social construct. What is considered fat in one country, is worshipped as precious female curves in another. Again, there is no such thing as ‘perfect’ and one person’s perception of ‘fat’ is another person’s ‘voluptuous’.
I tried, dating is not for me.
Try different places, change strategies, identify the three key things you are not willing to compromise on but stay flexible on everything else and have fun. Don’t date for a husband, date for fun! The perfect man will follow.
All the good men are taken.
Really? How do you know? Try dating a guy from another village, city, or a country.
I am not worth it
That’s up to a guy to decide, not you. If he thinks you’re an amazing person then perhaps you should take his word for it and stop projecting your negativity about yourself onto him.
Written by Olga Levancuka
Olga has coached some of the country’s most prominent entrepreneurs, celebrities from all across the fame spectrum as well as household political names. She is the author of How to Be Selfish.
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